Is not a rant at all

I quit my job this morning…pending two weeks . . . to go back to school

I guess that means me and fleener are going to be old school chums.

Heh.

“So long, chum”

(it’s from Mitchell)

We are totally evolved from monkeys!

As proof:

Monkeys will pay for porn. They will pay more for porn of high-status monkeys from their monkeypack.

Thanks to Penn Jillette and this week’s monkey tuesday show.

So.

Some motherfucking rocket scientists at merk invented an effective vaccine for HPV.

If you know one of these guys, for the love of god, buy them a damn beer.

Then fuck em’ – why not, it’s safe!

I’m going to drop some statistics – HPV is responsible for somewhere between 50 and 80 percent of cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is basically cancer of the ladybits. It robs hundreds of thousands of people worldwide of their lives, and more yet of their reproductive capability. Milliions of lives wrecked each year.

HPV also causes genital warts, an intractible and essentially incurable STD that disfigures the genitals, although generally without destruction of their function.

And now there’s a vaccine for it.  I mean, this motherfucker is done. It’s in the bag. They could shelve it any time. No more HPV. We could all fuck more freely! We could use our penises and vaginas with greater frequency, guys!

Me having sex more aside, the vaccine could drastically curb the disease. Like drastically. “Genital warts” could become a forgotten disease, like Smallpox… but to do so, it really needs to be adminstered in childhood, as HPV is highly asymptomatic . . . ah . . .that means it takes forever to kick in. You can carry it for a long time, and not know it. Especially if you’re a dude. Y’all could be firing wart juice with every shot. Ewww. That means to really curb HPV in the population, you need to apply it pretty goddamn early in life – before people start fucking, and you know kids today. And uncles today.

 And

Guess who isn’t happy about it?

Fucking christians.

Some of these dudes seriously believe that STDs are there to keep us in line in keeping with god’s plan. What dicks.

Now most of them don’t care about the vaccine existing. . . they just don’t want it added to the vaccine battery for public school. OK, I can see that. Why should we wipe out a disease when we could half-ass it and breed some nice, resistaint strains?

See, in these people’s mind, “The bad kids” have sex and “their kids” practice abstinence, and if festering tumors bloom on someone’s cervix, well, that’s what they get for being sluts. They don’t think about the LCD. They don’t think about incest, rape, and the callow experimentation that goes on in the environment they’ve created – an environment without real sex education, where reporting sexual assaults is a good way to be branded a slut and whispered about until you graduate. These people got laid twice in highschool, put a bun in Betty Sue’s oven, and spent the rest of their “lives” bitter about the abortive journey they’ve taken, so they are fucking with the rest of us.

they just see black and white, narrow paths and straight lines, but they don’t even walk those paths.

They have diseases. They cheat on each other. They beat and rape their kids and steal from their bosses, and they think a wad of sweaty money in the plate every sunday makes it better. It doesn’t – not in the eyes of god or the rest of us. You should give that collection money to a cop, not a bishop, because he’s the guy that REALLY saves you from the consequences of your hubris and your hypocracy.

This vaccine won’t work if you have to wait until you are 18 or have your parents permission to get it. At least, it won’t work in 1-3 iterations like it will if it’s added to the standard vaccine battery.

Let’s all, just this once, forget that a guy got nailed to a fucking board and catch the fuck up with the rest of the goddamn race.

Fuck I need some angrier music.

PRAISE ZEUS

If I died…

My messenger has been giving me a bit of “lip” lately

but I should institute a tough love policy soon and have it back on the straight and narrow..

I went to a party tonight where I missed a chance to take a photo of a guy in a tiny, tiny mini-skirt and a citidel sweater.

The contrast was amusing, I assure you my friends.

I see people and I think about what they do and I wonder if I would like doing that.

Usually I am all down for it at first but then I pick it apart.

Then I start over.

I can’t find a thing I would like to do.

I’m so picky. I’m so soft. Fuck me, I’m an asshole.

Introspective moment over.

New topic: Titties.

Who decided that the female human nipple had to be covered? Seriously. You can show a girl from her feet to her head and as long as three tiny bits of her are covered, it’s ok.

Conversely, you could put the same chick (I know you broads hate being called chicks, sorry) in a burka that covered every inch of her BUT those three little areas and that would be wrong.

Let’s not even get into what bullshit it is that some fat roofer can prance around with his harry fucking bloatcore exposed to the sun for all to see, but scarlet johansen has to cover up.

I think the entire western world, barring a tiny subsegment of gays we will just call “goldielockses,” would rather GIRLS went shirtless and men stayed modestly covered.

If you’ve ever asked yourself the above question about your leaders, give this site a look.

It shows the voting record of your legislators about major issues.

For all you palentologists.

(the big dinosaur is a person I could grow to like)

1. The Boondocks

2. The Daily Show/Colbert “repor”

3. Penn and Teller’s Bullshit

4. My Name is Earl

5. The Office

Runners up: Scrubs, Supernatural, The Ultimate Fighter (disqualified as reality TV but mentioned because I like it and two friends of aquantainces are on there), High Stakes Poker on GSN

Technical award: Las Vegas. There are more effects in an episode of Las Vegas then an episdode of Babylon 5, I swear. Really watch it some time. Make an effort to ignore all the meat on display. House would be on the list if something could be done to address its sameness.

NOTE: they are in no relative order