This started out as a comment in someone else’s blog, but it got to long, and to complicated.

————-

I used to be kind of a pacifist

Then I found some things happened . . . everone sees that picture of the kid turning back the tank in tienamin square and forgets that it came back the next day after the Boss of Tanks gave it a little pep talk.

I had some personal incidents like that. I realized, through practicum, that if it’s him or me, it’s gonna be me. When a bullet flies by you moving faster then sound and the wind of its passing hits you in the face, it blows away all your morals and all you want to do is live. Then you hear the shot, and you have to react before he shoots again. You have the time it takes a man to move his finger a quarter inch to decide where you REALLY stand on violence, and the decision changes your sense of yourself and your fate in life.  

So if I’d kill to save myself, if I’d kill to save my friends, if that’s inside me, how can I draw a line based on the circumstance it would take? I’d sleep with someone for enough money – so I’m at least a little bit of a whore. I’d kill a guy in the right circumstances, so I’m a little bit of a murderer.

That brings up another point…many people fight, police, millitary men, their ilk, so that you never have to.

Would you call the police to avoid doing violence? If so, you carry the moral weight for what they do to protect you. You are complicit in their actions as surely as the man that hires a hitman is complicit in that hitman’s murders. What I’m saying is, you maybe don’t see yourself as someone who would shoot someone or hit someone or kidnap a person and drag them off after forcing them into irons. . . but if you’ve ever *called the cops* on someone, or moved to a neighborhood in part because it “has a great police department” or “is very safe,” you have essentially hired at least some of those things done, almost as though you went down to a local pool hall and hired Vinnie “the icepick” Falcone to deal with it for you. . . just the finest line, the thinnest veneer, really seperates the two actions.

Dave Grossman breaks the world into sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs…saying, essentially, that only a small percent of the populatioin is vigourously violent, and there is another small percentage that will do violence in response, and vast majority of people are decent and gentle.

He goes on to compare society to an robin’s egg that may one day grow into something far beyond it’s components – but not without its hard shell. It’s entire future is entrusted against that shell, that hard covering that protects it from factors that the inside of the egg doesn’t even know about.  

Once you accept self defense, or defense of yourself through military or police power, you have to wonder what you’d do if someone was just PLANNING to hurt you.  Once you realize you’d act against someone planning violence, you have to work, hard, to draw a line between yourself and the people that MIGHT someday try to hurt you.

I’ve made up a new word!

“Gynotherianthrope”

It’s a noun, a portmanteau of “Gynocologist” meaning “dude that looks at vaginas” and a “therianthrope” meaning “someone what turns into a different sort of animal”

A gynotherianthrope is a man (or, I guess, lesbian) who sees a vagina and turns into a different sort of creature.

IE

“Brian used to be a bad motherfucker, but whenever his girl is around, he puds out on poker night. What a total gynotherianthrope.”

All the recent talk of the new xanga ratings system has called something to my attention.

I am a free speech nazi.

Yes, I mean it when I say people should have free speech. Even nasty hateful dirty people you don’t like.

Letting them have free speech, pretty much unconditionally, is your safeguard against the people that think you’re hatefully, and dirty, and nasty.

There’s another aspect, too.

Who do you live for, and who lives for you? If your answer to either question was “the government,” I don’t know what to tell you, except that there’s a real risk you’ll always be a child.

We should have a law only where we need a law. You only need a rule against someone’s speech if their ideology scares you. I’m not afraid of neo nazi speech, of child molester speech, of crazy born again christian speech, of extreme right or leftist speech.

I’m afraid of some of those people, sometimes, inasmuch as I’m ever afraid of anything.
But I’m afraid of their actions, not their speech. The only way to STOP their actions in the long run is to defeat their ideology, and that can’t be done if they’re under a rock, in the dark.

Let those poison dogmas out themselves. Let them try to bring their ideas to war against mine.

I’ll win. My ideas are viral, my patterns insidious, my ideology of rigorous thought, my distaste for bullshit and obfuscation – it’ll rip your shitty dogma to bits, every time.

So I’m not afraid of your ideas. I welcome them.

Now some will say, “Xanga is a company. A company doesn’t have the same standards as the government.”

That’s a good point.

Nothing legally binds Xanga to uphold any sort of standards of speech or community of tolerance.

Nothing binds them to those standards at all.

But then, a morality you’re forced to uphold was never yours. Your behavior on the barbarous frontier is your true self, not the face you wear when you sell furs in the city.

UPDATE: HAHAHHAHAHAHA THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER

IF YOU AREN’T LOGGED IN YOU CAN BYPASS THE CHECKER

SO JUST LOG OUT AND BROWSE YOUR PORN FOLKS

EDIT 2: OK NOW YOU JUST NEED TO ENTER YOUR BIRTHDATE TO GET TO THINGS RATED A-D AS APPROPRIATE TO YOUR AGE, SOMETHING I GUESS I NEVER DID. THIS IS ACCEPTABLE TO ME IN MY ROLE AS “LORD OF THE INTERNET”

http://www.amirtofangsazan.blogspot.com/

Whoopsie.

Another small note:

Xanga has instituted some sort of “rating” system.

You need to go turn the rating down, or people will be unable to view your content unless they have premium or “verify their age” with a credit card.

I’m watching SNL on the advance network feed.

There is a new SNL every saturday, followed by an old re-run.

New show: Catherine Zeta-Jones is the host. Franz Ferdinand is the guest.

Old Show: Sam Kinison is the host. Lou Reed is the guest.

Sorry new SNL. You lose.

So, me and a certain lowlife aquaintance of mine were walking through our local wal mart.

We walked by a somewhat pleasing-looking woman and we stared at her brazenly, giving her lunatic smiles that served to say, “You are meat. We are things that eat meat. No, you naughty skank, not in a good way.”

She noticed us looking and glanced away. She had three kids with her, and as we walked on into the electronics section, one of us (I honestly forget which, for we are like one mind at times) said, “Well, you can tell she puts out.”

In short, we were acting young and dumb.

So a few seconds later, we turn around and she’s just. . . behind us. Like Solid Snake. We had no idea she was sneaking up on us.

Her face had a look somewhat blissed-out look, and she didn’t seem angry.

“Can I ask you guys a question?” She said.

Now, I was, frankly, thinking we were in deep shit at this point. I figured she either had heard us commenting when we remarked “hey, look, her ass is almost up to par” or “how many dads do you think those kids have” and was about to chew us a new asshole (or attempt to do so just before being shot down) or she noticed what crazy beasts we were and wanted to rut. If the later were the case, one of us would have to immediately oblige her, taking her into the back of the sporting goods section and bringing her right to the edge of pain there in the pool que section, as this was very definately the sort of girl you don’t want to know where you live. Again, as my friend has chosen a path of monogamy-of-dubious-value, I would have had to fall on this grenade. No high-fiving over the back for us these days, alas.
 
At any rate, I said, “Sure. If you don’t mind random answers.”

She said the words that would serve to twist her appealing, if trashy, features into those of the crypt keeper before my eyes.

“Do you guys belive in god?”

Now my buddy found this rude, and odd. He’s not out in the people as much as I, and he doesn’t understand that a good 37% of this country is not just religious, but retarded with the spirit.

He sort of mumbles “no” and when asked for clarification says, “no I never have”

Then he has to wander away. Quickly. Because he’s losing his shit, laughing. Why, you ask? Because I have said, “KNOW HIM? Motherfucker owes me 10 bucks.”

She says, “Why?” (note: These people CANNOT tell when you are fucking with them, most of the time. That and if they can, they stick around trying to still get “the sale”)
“He used to be on my paper route. It’s seriously awkward. You ever try to collect tree fiddy from god? Nice lawn though. Xeriscape.”

“Don’t you know god loves you?”

“Well, I doubt that.”

“Why?”

“Did you ever own an ant farm? (She shakes her head no) “Well, if you did, would you care more about the overall health of the farm, or individual little ants?”

“Why would you say such a thing, don’t you worship the lord jesus christ?”

“No, babe, if anything, I’m on the other side.”

“What, you mean you worship satan?”

“Precisely!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s more american!”

“What?”

“Well, think about it. What did Satan want? He wanted to do his own thing, live how he wanted, say what he chose. All good american virtures. God was oppressing him. So what did he do? He stood up! He fought back! Just like George Washington!”

“But. . . but. . . how can you say that?”

“It’s in the bible.”

“You aren’t supposed to just question like -”

“Yes, you are. You have to be.”

“What?”

“Well, what’s the one thing you can’t do? The one thing nothing can do? You can’t copy yourself. Nothing can. You always lose energy, you always lose something in the process. So instead, you make children, looking to create a lesser being that will one day surpass you. Do you want your children to one day equal or outgrow you, or do you want them to blindly follow you forever? We have to question god! He made us because to be God is to be alone, and he would have peers. If you don’t question god, you don’t love him – you follow him only out of slavish, mindless devotion, and that’s not what either one of you need.”

“ahhh….ahhhh…ok….well, you’ve…given me a lot to think …about…can I just ask you one thing?”

“Sure.”

“Have you ever been in a place where you could be exposed to the word of god?”

“Actually, my friend and I were both raised by insane christian extremists. We know the whole bible front to back. Besides, you could get in trouble if I come to church with you. If I subverted your congregation in the name of My Dark Father, you’d probably get in some kind of deep shit, right?”

“Oh…well…we pray together?”

“No. You can pray for me, though. But only if I can sacrifice a goat to the Eater of Souls for you.”

At this point, I made a quick ” OH SHIT LOOKIT THE TIME” style exit and we walked away.

My buddy was pink with hilarity.

“You know,” I said to him, “The whole time I talked to her, I just heard top dollar from the Crow in my head, where he says, “Her? I think we broke her.”

Is not a rant at all

I quit my job this morning…pending two weeks . . . to go back to school

I guess that means me and fleener are going to be old school chums.

Heh.

“So long, chum”

(it’s from Mitchell)

We are totally evolved from monkeys!

As proof:

Monkeys will pay for porn. They will pay more for porn of high-status monkeys from their monkeypack.

Thanks to Penn Jillette and this week’s monkey tuesday show.

So.

Some motherfucking rocket scientists at merk invented an effective vaccine for HPV.

If you know one of these guys, for the love of god, buy them a damn beer.

Then fuck em’ – why not, it’s safe!

I’m going to drop some statistics – HPV is responsible for somewhere between 50 and 80 percent of cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is basically cancer of the ladybits. It robs hundreds of thousands of people worldwide of their lives, and more yet of their reproductive capability. Milliions of lives wrecked each year.

HPV also causes genital warts, an intractible and essentially incurable STD that disfigures the genitals, although generally without destruction of their function.

And now there’s a vaccine for it.  I mean, this motherfucker is done. It’s in the bag. They could shelve it any time. No more HPV. We could all fuck more freely! We could use our penises and vaginas with greater frequency, guys!

Me having sex more aside, the vaccine could drastically curb the disease. Like drastically. “Genital warts” could become a forgotten disease, like Smallpox… but to do so, it really needs to be adminstered in childhood, as HPV is highly asymptomatic . . . ah . . .that means it takes forever to kick in. You can carry it for a long time, and not know it. Especially if you’re a dude. Y’all could be firing wart juice with every shot. Ewww. That means to really curb HPV in the population, you need to apply it pretty goddamn early in life – before people start fucking, and you know kids today. And uncles today.

 And

Guess who isn’t happy about it?

Fucking christians.

Some of these dudes seriously believe that STDs are there to keep us in line in keeping with god’s plan. What dicks.

Now most of them don’t care about the vaccine existing. . . they just don’t want it added to the vaccine battery for public school. OK, I can see that. Why should we wipe out a disease when we could half-ass it and breed some nice, resistaint strains?

See, in these people’s mind, “The bad kids” have sex and “their kids” practice abstinence, and if festering tumors bloom on someone’s cervix, well, that’s what they get for being sluts. They don’t think about the LCD. They don’t think about incest, rape, and the callow experimentation that goes on in the environment they’ve created – an environment without real sex education, where reporting sexual assaults is a good way to be branded a slut and whispered about until you graduate. These people got laid twice in highschool, put a bun in Betty Sue’s oven, and spent the rest of their “lives” bitter about the abortive journey they’ve taken, so they are fucking with the rest of us.

they just see black and white, narrow paths and straight lines, but they don’t even walk those paths.

They have diseases. They cheat on each other. They beat and rape their kids and steal from their bosses, and they think a wad of sweaty money in the plate every sunday makes it better. It doesn’t – not in the eyes of god or the rest of us. You should give that collection money to a cop, not a bishop, because he’s the guy that REALLY saves you from the consequences of your hubris and your hypocracy.

This vaccine won’t work if you have to wait until you are 18 or have your parents permission to get it. At least, it won’t work in 1-3 iterations like it will if it’s added to the standard vaccine battery.

Let’s all, just this once, forget that a guy got nailed to a fucking board and catch the fuck up with the rest of the goddamn race.

Fuck I need some angrier music.

PRAISE ZEUS