Well, my car ate shit in an intersection yesterday.

I pushed it into a parking lot

I thought it ran out of gas.

I have this gas gauge that sticks so I’m not a retard for that

But, no such luck. I went and got some gas and trying to restart the car. It wouldn’t start

So, I get out, looking to get some cell reception and see about 4 quarts of oil on the ground. Not good.

So I had to have it towed by a mechanic, and bother a bunch of people (fleener, my grandma, another friend) for rides all over town

I also got to deal with the guy in the lot telling me I would have to clean up the oil

Evidently this guy is unaware of certain guy codes, like not pissing in adjoining urinals, not nailing a guy’s little sister, and not fucking with a dude when his car is busted.

Fortuneatly I got all the satisfaction I needed seeing the big ass towtruck block his lot for about 30 minutes while we loaded my car.

Turns out the fuel intake regulator has been wearing for some time, causing oil to leak into my fuel as it enters the engine. The engine computer compensates by richening the mixture for a while, but then it goes all at once and the engine oil may as well be water in the fuel. (oil burns, but not like gas)

So that sucked.

On the plus side, I get to borrow my mom’s jeep for the weekend. It’s turbocharged.