Today’s entry is a contest. Everyone tell me what dance you would do for my amusement, were I the grand vizir. I’ll email a picture of something funny to the winner. 

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“Some folks say he was from New Orleans
Where he got in a fight over a cajun queen
And a crashing blow from a huge right hand
Sent a Lousiana man to the Promised Land.”

EDIT: Another quiz, another ‘evil overlord’ result.

You scored as Bill. you tend to react to things much too quickly. you dont really think before you act. you’re a good leader though, and pretty good with a flute.

Snl tonight has u2! Joy! U2! YAY.

Seriously, What the fuck. In what world is U2 still good or relevent?

I’m with maddox.

I’m reading a book called The Scar, by china mieville.

His books are nuts. Way nuts. Like willaim gibson set in victorian england. Gibson’s mechanical mind and wandering attention span transported into this steampunk bizzaro world…

edit: I took a quiz.Apparently, I’m still a motherfucker.  

Remind me to stay on your good side.

What is Your Shakespearian Tragic Flaw?

brought to you by Quizilla

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Me gusta mi reggae,
Me gusta punk rock,
Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita,

Ponga la nalga en la aire if you know who you are,
Ponga la nalga en la aire y empieza gritar,

No tenga miedo, I’m your papi,
Take your chones, y les mandan a mi,
Levanta, levanta, tienes que gritar,
Levanta, levanta, tienes que bailar.

Well, my new years ended in an arrest. Not mine, so you can start breathing again.

I got pleasingly, borderline Tucker Max drunk, and I was gregerious and fun to be around.

I kissed no one at midnight.

I had a girl tell me to drop by if I felt like it early in the week.
Now, after watching an aquaintance get hauled off in handcuffs, I didn’t feel like hanging out with anyone. I wanted to finish getting drunk, and go home and play videogames drunk for 12 hours straight while finishing off every non-wine drink in my house (My father owns a vinyard and I don’t have a cork-screw. Irony. We like irony here.) I was so drunk any date (or whatever. Right now she appears to be seeing this little thing, but she denies it to me) between us would have ended in some sort of gross violation, either of a consensual, sexual nature…or a brutal emotional assault where I dredged up the rage generated by every miserable, shitty thing either of us have ever done and used it to mock and enrage everyone we encontered while out together.

And now said girl appears to be mad at me. As though she missed something when denied my loathsome, lecherous presence.

Resolution time:
I have a problem. I have become a vast, harkonen-esque man. This year I’m going to abuse horribly our company’s gym membership, until I am back on the intimidating, as opposed to the jolly, side of the physical spectrum.

Also, I resolve to drink more, party more, and spend more time in the company of floosies. I’m coming back. All the way back. Y’all best ready yourselves.

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I thought about going in the army. I thought about going overseas.
I wouldn’t have trouble with a piss test; only problem is my bad left knee.
My brother got picked up at Parker’s, got him a ride in a new Crown Vic.
They said that he was movin’ on a federal level but they couldn’t really make it stick.
Take it from me…

We ain’t never gonna change.
We ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong.
We ain’t never gonna change
so shut your mouth and play along.

You can throw me in the Colbert County jailhouse.
You can throw me off the Wilson Dam
but there ain’t much difference in the man I wanna be and the man I really am.

We ain’t never gonna change.