I’m making some new years resolutions (I put them off)
I’m definately hitting the gym, as I’m a bit more “jolly” then I want…
I’m considering adding some other resolutions…ideas include:
Taking up the guitar or base
Learning to skateboard at 25 (If you know me, the idea of me on a skateboard should be really, really funny)
Write a Novel
Have monkey sex more often
etc….
anybody else got any ideas? I’m oppen to suggestion, but if you have a funny idea, you have to include a serious one, and vice versa.
Also, if you are down for the monkey sex, email me nekkid pitchers of yerself (I lapse into redneck-ese when being bawdy).
Lyric:
With a good heart, and white suit, and a baby-blue sedan, I’m . . .doing the best that I can.
I’ll be sure to get that nude pic of me right over.
Um, what is MONKEY sex exactly? And can it be enacted WHILE you are writing the novel? Another possible resolution would be baking more cupcakes and starting up a little cupcake stand (akin to a lemonade stand) in your yard. That could possibly be combined with the monkey sex as well–because I swear I read somewhere that stuffing a cupcake in someone’s mouth intensifies the person’s orgasm. Not that I’ve ever test drove that idea, despite my apparent cupcake cheerleader proclivities. Oh and finally, are the nekkid pictures meant to get you in the mood for the monkey sex–or are they meant so you can screen out certain candidates?
Learn a foreign language like Icelandic, and then learn how to say “Let’s go have wild monkey sex in my car” and use it as a pick up line, then THERE, two things cut off the list!
jolly is good though! you could scrap that gym idea and start working on making the world a better place…for jolly people. seems like people really only appreciate jolliness these days in squishy santa packages. i sowwy. oh hey! be a mall santa!!!
actually, that gym idea wouldn’t be such a bad idea for me. a resolution that would probably help a lot on that is “work on laziness.”
troy was great….though i like my ending better. they should have just made 2 movies. 2 fabulous 3 hour long movies….yay!!!
as for a resolutions…you should train to be in the miss america pageant while simultaneously learning how to juggle…juggleing increases your coordination…i need that do you?
resolutions:
Do not send out any more naked pictures of myself to complete strangers.
Try not to engage in monkey sex, though primate sex is completely allowed as it is for science research.
To stop taking the candy from the strangers.
pri-mates.
more monkey sex is always good!! 😀
how about you learn how to be a really good stalker? that is a skill that will come in handy!! 🙂
**Tara**
yeah. i’ve been thinking about what you said about cultivating hobbies and people. i’m not that great of a people person. the thing is i prefer to be alone. so…yeah, i’m pretty fucked. i did have alot of superficial friends a few years ago and spent all my time with them, unfortunately my hobbies were doing coke and acid and crack and shrooms and drinking. so. not so good. but i’ve thought about it and i think you’re right. i don’t know what i’m gonna do, but i’m gonna do it. phht. people.
i was on a skateboard for exactly 3.5 seconds when i was 7. then i fell off and broke my arm and have never got on one since. so yeah, good luck with that man! peace frog!
Hey, all for the monkey sex, hehehehe. Naked pictures, eh? Hmmmmmmm……
you should take up a collection to get you ready to be miss america….juggling could be your talent!
Already thinking about resolutions my friend.. yea me too…
You should stand on your head while spitting nickels. That way you are paying somebody before monkey-sex.
as far as suggestions go:
….have chimpanzee sex more often?
no, no. forget i mentioned that. that’s a little too crazy. even for me. stick with the monkeys.
All verra good resolutions!
Note to self: Buy batteries for digital camera to take nekkid pics of self.
Love the MM reference at the end, but then you already know that.
The Big Mac guy is Don Gorsky, he was briefly interviewed in “Super Size Me”.
ahahah! you should just make your own! they sell those iron on letters at american eagle. i saw them there last week at least. i’d love you forever if you wore that shirt!
I always make easy ones like…. Don’t eat pickled pigs feet….. Done….
Add elephant sex to the list…fat girls need lovin too.
You’re already writing a novel, punk. Several, if memory serves.
So learn to skateboard. At the very least, it’ll give me someone to skate with.
At the very worst, it’ll be goddamned funny.
nekkid pictures of me would frighten the extra pounds right off you….. interested?
I felt way good while Sarah and I were working out all last semester. More energy and such (yeah it’s hard to imagine me with even MORE energy). So yeah…work out. it feels good to sweat!
You could always make the workig out into a work out session including monkey sex (or reverse it to monkey sex being a work out). Lots of jumping around and
–We seem to have lost reception. Brooke was getting too graphic.
i like the miss america idea… but the it’s probably best if you work a little bit on the “Miss” part…
yeah, that’s ok. coz i’ve never been to reno and i shot a man in rio. i didn’t stay to watch him die, though. actually, i don’t know if he did die. if i cared i might find out.
I vote coming down to Texas and visiting an Xangan (or two if you know someone else down here).
Robbbing a bank? Get real man. =P
Yeah, they make big Kingpin sized skateboards. Trevor doesn’t know what he speaks.