Breakin’ the law, Breakin’ the law. . . .
I got pulled over the other day. By a cop, of all things.
You know what this idiot wants? To give me a fix-it ticket for a broken headlight.
You know what this idot asks me?
Liscense and registration
Insurance
Do I live at the address on my liscense?
Do I live around here?
Have I lived here long?
Do I have a job?
Where? (I said “yes”)
Where was I going
Where was I coming from
What was my phone number (something NO cop has ever asked me)
And then he gives me this big lecture about how driving with one headlight is dangerous. So I give up. Fuck it. How much can the ticket be?
“Yeah, shit, I can see how that could be a real killer. What if someone thinks I’m on a motorcycle and tries to miss me real narrowly?”
He blinked at me for about thirty seconds, gave me back my papers and told me to get my light fixed.
lyric for the day:
“Checking it up,
Baby,one more time for you
Checking it up,
Until the pot hits the sky
Even the best best years
Leave a lot to be desired
When they pass you by”
-Baby, I’m a big star now, Counting Crows
that is a whole lot of questions for a broken light! i think the cop was trying to get a little hook up there! 😉 and how i can i pray to satan? im friends w/him 😀
**Tara**
in cleveland heights you get an “free” mandatory colonoscopy with every traffic stop…consider yourself lucky!
Just get it fixed and no problem. Wait till they ask you where you work, and then they have never heard of the place before.
Besides lots of questions is better than the poop chute spotlight.
Heheh… oddball.
A bored cop is the most hazardous thing on the road.
My theory is that most cops were high school bullies. They’re on power trips under the guise of some kind of patriotic, helping the community vibe. They deserve to be terrorized by a gang of mean girls wearing fuzzy legwarmers and black eyepatches and wielding meat tenderizing mallets.
I was once driving with a guy who got busted with a DUI–but the reason he was pulled over wasn’t poor driving; it was a broken headlight. That sucked.
Assholes……
You give your phone number to everyone but me. *sniff*
Had to comment. I had no idea anyone else even knew that book (Snow Crash) even existed.
Yeah cops like to be nosy, too. When I was flying to Louisville Kentucky to visit Bill in Indiana (it was the cheapest, closest airport) the customs guy gave me the third degree:
“Why are you going to the states?”
“To visit my fiance”
“When are you getting married?”
“August 23”
“you doing that here, or in Canada?”
“In Canada.”
“Is he going to live there?”
“Yes.”
“He have all his immigration stuff together?”
“Almost.”
“How did you meet him?”
“When he was going to school in Canada”
Like, bloody HELL, what business was that of his?
He probably thought you were stuffed full of heroin and if he gave you enough grief a balloon would snap and you’d be DOOMED.
i cant explain the cutting thing really b/c not too many people seem to understand unless they do it themselves…but i will if you like just not on here im me or something….but i am trying to stop…this has been a tough week but if i make it to tuesday it will be 3 weeks….
**Tara**
God damn that heroin comment made me choke.
most cops, i believe, have exceedingly small dicks. they never quite got over the insecurities felt in the locker rooms in school, much less the ones in the station/barracks thingie. no one ever took pity on them and told them that half of the women do care, half of them don’t, and guys really don’t care anyway because no self-respecting straight male would be caught dead staring at another man’s pieces-parts. later on, these cops will go on to become wife-beaters and daughter-screwers. pretty sad, really.
half of women care? . . . uh-oh.