“here he goes again” He shows up…same day every year… and dances from sunrise to sunset I heard It’s some kind of ritual He used to dance here …back in the day Nice shoes. She bought them …they were in love… but he couldn’t stop So one day she left No one knows where she went “I heard she got struck by lightning” “I heard she got hit by a truck.” “Yeah well, whatever, one day she didn’t show up.” Now he dances to bring her back. End of story. “Hey . . . Would you like to get some coffee?”
Here I sit at work once more, alone in the dark and thinking of things . . .two days till the concert, but it looks like the necromantix might not make it due to illness. Sucks, as the saying goes . . . but nothing stops the bastards
My car: I’m going to blow it up with home-made plastique when I can afford another.
I’m not kidding. I want it vaporized. I’m gonna take out the vin# and the gas tank and blow it into such small pieces most of them will still be coming down when the union dies. I want an explosion of such magnitude that NO PIECE of this damn car will larger then a dime or within a quarter mile of any other piece. . .It should send a message to every other car, and message is: Fuck with me and get blown into little pieces of car that are very far from the site of an rather excessive explosion. Bits of you will rain down on the windshield of the international space station. if you step out of line.” It’s going to be very illegal and very, very loud. Since it will have to be done outside, and far from anything, I propose a loud, lewd festival in the desert tundra of wyoming with live music, twisted fornication, and intense drugs. . . a sort of “Burning Car Festival.”
I think “I’ve read books like Lady Chatterly’s Lover and Love in the Time of Cholera, and I like to think I understood them” is one of the most brilliant lines ever . . .
I can play chess with two people at once, and typically win both games . . . but I can’t figure out fucking cricket.
EDIT: I WIN THE QUIZ.
You Are 100% Skilled at Going Down On a Girl
Chances are your tongue is so tired now that you can’t even talk
Not only do you rock at oral – you do it a lot
Your girlfriend is the happiest girl on the planet. No, really.
And, you Mr. (Ms.???) Pussy, are the most sought after lover in your town
How Well Do You Go Down On Girls?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Lyric of the day:
“You can’t get to heaven if you’re afraid to get high”
–Kylie Minouge, some radio song I’m not going to look up.
Hi. Who wrote the short purple bit of prose? Did you? I like it. And I lurve the Distillers. And yes I use the word lurve as though I am 15 and not 29 but hell, sometimes you’ve gotta do it. I’m rambling now. Sorry. I’ll quit.
So let me see if I’ve got this…. you don’t care much for your current car?……. : )
So what is this homemade plastique you speak of? And speaking of cricket… no actually, speaking of croquet, I just read in a magazine an actual suggestion that one score a croquet mallet in a thrift store and then utilize said croquet mallet to smash cockroaches. Personally, I think a meat tenderizing mallet would make a sexier bug squasher. Or…perhaps you could destroy your car with a meat tenderizing mallet. Yes, that would probably be a rather labor intensive process–but just add some applesauce to the mix and document it as performance art, eh? And last but not least, I shall mention that yet again today, I consumed two different varieties of meat with one meal. This was at a restaurant, though–and at one point I made a pit stop into the girl’s room, where I noticed one of those little placards reading ‘Employees Must Wash Hands’–except ‘Wash Hands’ was in quotation marks. Does this mean I should induce vomitting?
heya!! sorry about the no more zebra-y goodness but you will soon realize im a layout whore!! i cannot have the same layout for too long or it gets boring and i go crazy so i must change it!!! yeah i like how my quiz results turned out kinda nifty!!:D also i checked out that linkage and i love it!!! you have great taste obviously!!! spank yas and feel free to send me any more you think i may like!!!
**Tara**
Heh. You’re tounge isn’t tired. It’s dry, lonely and disused.
I should know, we can smell our own.
Is the bit at the beginning from the Dirty Vegas video of “Days Go By”??
As for the rest, all I can say is “Hmmmmmmmmm.”
Yeah, the line’s form the Dirty Vegan video. Classic.
Anyway, back to Matt.
-I want to blow up my car too.
-Dawn of the Dead sucked.
-The oral thing kind of made me twitch. I want to take the quiz.
-Sorry you are sick. What concert are you missing?
It all becomes clearer with more beer.
-Mike
hey, i’m 100% skilled, too. now if i could just find a girl… hey, you got fleen’s number?
dude, just drive it off a bridge.
oh, and Ironically, I used to play a joint called Chuck U Farleys
No bridge. The car must serve as an example to others that follow it. It’s death will be stunning in it’s brutality and beauty.