Continuing with the western theme – a tried and true formula for levity. 

Take any western movie.  Preform the following simple substitutions:

Western Movie says “Kill,” replace with: “Fuck”

Western Movie says “hanged,” replaced with “raped”

Western Movie says “shot,” replace with “screwed”

SOOOO. . . .  take this dialouge from “Unforgiven”

“It’s a hell of a thing to fuck a man, kid. 

You take away everything he has, and everything he’s ever gonna have.”

Or . . . how ’bout this:

“You fuck men for money?”

“It’s a livin'”

“Die’n ain’t much of a livin’

Or:

“They screwed me in my stomach and left me in the desert to die, but they haven’t fucked me yet, by thunder!”

Or:

“He was so mad that I fucked his brother that he rounded up a posse, and they rode me down.  Then they threw a rope over a tree and raped me until I just hung there like the dead.  But I lived, and now I’m gonna fuck them all. And I’m a gonna fuck’em slow.”

From me to you: Enjoy!